I said, “No Hard Feelings.”…but it was a lie
Another Letter
It has been a long time since i last saw
you..But still i can’t completely forget
you.
Your memories still linger in my mind,
every thoughts seems to contain a hint
about you. I tried hard to stop..i wanted
to stop thinking about you..but still
persist.
Those thoughts still tortures me with
regrets and loneliness.
My mind races with my heart, trying to
restore balance to a chaostic mind that
disguises itself with a subtle cover of
fake "happiness".
My head if filled by senseless words.
"I shouldn’t have done that…i should
have done this..i shouldn’t have said
that..blah blah blah.."
Making me only think more about my
insignificance and my imperfections.
I know that i can never..ever forget
you..I could only love you or hate you..i
just have to choose from those two
options.
I’m afraid of hating you..i’m not sure
what i could do. I wanted you to at least
feel what i felt when you betrayed me.
You took with you almost all the "love"
that i could ever give, leaving only hate
and sadness within me.
I’m slowly getting tired of hoping..I
dont want to be a hateful person just
because of what you did to me. You have
completely broken by trust even though i
had given you everything that i can
offer. You’re too inconsiderate and
selfish, even from my point of view..i
had always tried to understand you even
at times when i shouldn’t have..
Was I really too stupid to love you so
deeply and truly?
..I really want to blame you for every
agony that i’ve felt since i met you..but
deep inside, i solely blame
myself…because it was i who chose to
love you inspite of your significantly
unequal love for me.
None of those things would matter
now..because I know that you would never
come back to me again.
..If i can’t forget about you and if i’m
not allowed to love you..then the only
reasonable thing for me to do is hate
you. Hatred would atleast compensate for
the emptiness that existed within my
heart when you denied you love from me.
..I want to burn in Hatred. I want to
burn off this insidious disguise, i want
to get rid of this false
emotions…..just to try and attempt to
bury your memories in oblivion.
There’s only one thing im sure of..No one
could love you greater than what i’ve
given you.
