Divergent Chaos

Another Letter

It has been a long time since i last saw

you..But still i can’t completely forget

you.
Your memories still linger in my mind,

every thoughts seems to contain a hint

about you. I tried hard to stop..i wanted

to stop thinking about you..but still

persist.

Those thoughts still tortures me with

regrets and loneliness.

My mind races with my heart, trying to

restore balance to a chaostic mind that

disguises itself with a subtle cover of

fake "happiness".

My head if filled by senseless words.

"I shouldn’t have done that…i should

have done this..i shouldn’t have said

that..blah blah blah.."

Making me only think more about my

insignificance and my imperfections.

I know that i can never..ever forget

you..I could only love you or hate you..i

just have to choose from those two

options.

I’m afraid of hating you..i’m not sure

what i could do. I wanted you to at least

feel what i felt when you betrayed me.

You took with you almost all the "love"

that i could ever give, leaving only hate

and sadness within me.

I’m slowly getting tired of hoping..I

dont want to be a hateful person just

because of what you did to me. You have

completely broken by trust even though i

had given you everything that i can

offer. You’re too inconsiderate and

selfish, even from my point of view..i

had always tried to understand you even

at times when i shouldn’t have..

Was I really too stupid to love you so

deeply and truly?

..I really want to blame you for every

agony that i’ve felt since i met you..but

deep inside, i solely blame

myself…because it was i who chose to

love you inspite of your significantly

unequal love for me.

None of those things would matter

now..because I know that you would never

come back to me again.

..If i can’t forget about you and if i’m

not allowed to love you..then the only

reasonable thing for me to do is hate

you. Hatred would atleast compensate for

the emptiness that existed within my

heart when you denied you love from me.

..I want to burn in Hatred. I want to

burn off this insidious disguise, i want

to get rid of this false

emotions…..just to try and attempt to

bury your memories in oblivion.

There’s only one thing im sure of..No one

could love you greater than what i’ve

given you.

Of Fate and Faith

Believers vs Atheist vs Agnostics

This hidden war has been raging on since man became aware of who he is.

Believers argued that a god or group of gods created our existence for all kind of purposes.
Atheists, however, declines the belief in a supreme being that determines the fate of everything. They argued that man is a product of science and evolution, of random events and nature’s tendencies.
Agnostics..denies that humanity is still incapable of understanding such thoughts.

I, on the otherhand, stands temporarily as a 4th faction of humanity to act as mediator to the other 3 parties. I won’t  be biased to any of their reasoning. It it important to take every aspect of humanity into consideration regarding this topic because the result would determine who we are and what is our collective purpose for existing.

Long ago, all people believed in the existence of divinities. They worship nature, mythical creatures, deities..
But as man progresses on his philosophies, he begins to wonder..
Wondering it there is/are gods.
For such a long time, people lived in fear of gods..people fear their powers.
Some men realized that humanity has their own power..to acquire and use knowledge.
Science was born and out of science came out radical thoughts, hyphotheses..a lot of "What If’s" came into being.
"What if the world is not flat","What if we can fly","What if we can reach the moon and the stars", "what if we can become Gods"…

For millenias, humanity dreamed of becomeing a god or god-lke. Dreaming of immortality and god-like abilities, he pursued different paths just to achieve that goal. It is believed that everyone of us carries a desire to become superior over everyone..dominance. And dominance is what god(s) brings to the inferior humanity.

I will present an argument for each type of belief.

This first argument is for the Believers especially the monotheistic/creationist religions.

Why did God created us?
Is it because he is bored of existing endlessly in an empty universe?
Did he create us for enjoyment?
As i first inferred, dominance is a part of human instinct..because we naturally seek order, and social order can only be acquired through control. Someone has to enforce them. A society where everyone is completely equal can never ever truly exist. Not in paradise not in hell. We all follow a hierarchy..because each of us has their individual purpose. Not everyone can be rich, someone always has to be richer. Not everyone can be scientist or businessmen, someone has to be a farmer. If there were no farmers, they would all starve. This just shows that everyone cannot be equals, someone would and always assume dominance, through power or through faith.

motheistic religions believe in an omnipotent god..knows everything, sees everything, be everywhere, anytime–past,present,future…basically, he can do everything. But why does God test us with tragic circumstances, either caused by someone else or natural events?
He knows what we would do in such situations, but why would he still let those things happen? Just for enjoyment? or he is just getting his kicks out of human misery? If he just wanted us to worship him day and night..he could have done so.but why did he not do that? is it because of freewill? What free will? no matter what decision we choose in life, he had already known about it and anticipated them..

Think about this..If God created everything, then he was the one who created "good" and "evil" in the first place..he could have just made Adam and Eve vomit the fruit they ate at Eden..And  if God was omnipotent, he would have already known that Eve would stupidly believe that snake..and he would have never asked Adam and Eve why they were so  embarrassed because he already knows what they did.
..He could have just probably reprogrammed Adam and Eve then hide the Tree and make a wallet out of the skin of that snake and everything could have been easier for everyone..no "original sin"..

To be continued….

————-For 21 years of my current life, i wondered about the nature of things. I wondered why we are here and what is the significance of our existence.

We all had out shares of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, triumph and defeat..we’ve felt sorrow, pain, anger and hate. We’ve enjoyed the experience of love, passion, attraction and desires..but for what?

What does this mean to our brief existence?