Divergent Chaos

The darkness creeps slowly,
upon the once bright scenery.
Shadows loom over the horizon,
as the sun sets into submission.

The trees sway on the grassy fields,
Pollens blown by the wind as it yields.
Blades of grass dances in celebration,
Left and right without caution.

Leaves soaks up the remnants of light
In preparation for the banquet tonight.
Amidst the funeral of the dying day,
Broken shadows happily play.

As the earth swallows the sun,
The evening star starts its run.
Across the wide nighttime sky,
Over the thick clouds up high.

My life starts with the night,
My world celebrates in its sight.
The irony of the world disappears,
Death to the stomach-crunching fear.

The moon keeps my soul company,
The stars shares their story with me.
Every twinkle that gleefully shines,
Are stories that time never reclines.

I am alive as long there is the night,
I am free as long as what i do is right.
I thrive in the darkness,
Hopeful and restless.
      
I pledge my allegiance to the night.

It’s the same case, the same scenario.

Falling in love with someone who already loves someone else.

Always getting attracted to people that are already taken.

But i can’t deny my “Never say die” personality. I’ll always strive to pursue what i wan’t regardless what the circumstance is or how hopeless it is.

For me, love is sacred. More important than anything else in my world. More precious than life.

“Unrequited Love”..yes, that’s what it is.

…it is impossible for me to give up right now. I’ll have hope, even if there is none possible.

I needed to be selfish right now.

If their relationship is as solid as a rock, then i’ll be the force of falling water.

With time, water will split the solid rock. Squeezing into the tiny cracks, fracturing it slowly but surely until it breaks and scatter.

Persistence is my weapon, Love is my ammunition.

It’s time to break hearts, to dissolve bonds, to sever connections and to kill trust.

This is my declaration of war. I will take no prisoners, I will show no mercy.

This is my necessity. This is my month.

Happy April Fools day.

I know i shall never forget,
An urge even stronger than death.
A destiny, fate has come to set,
A sacrifice i dare not regret.

And I know i shall never see,
The days that she’ll share with me.
For life is just an insane delusion,
Happiness is just a bittersweet temptation.

The world still goes spinning,
But everything has it’s ending.
Someday, somehow, we will all fade,
In time,with chance, everything will be unmade.

Another unsustainable discontent,
Smothers me at this very moment.
Wanting something that is not mine,
Hopeless thoughts that goes out of line.

I breathe deep and i breathe hard,
I surrender and lay down my guard.
There’s nothing more for me to lose,
Just another futile excuse.

I’m now willing to give up,
I’m now willing to stop.
I’m now ready to break my world,
Preparation to face the cold.

As the moon cast its shadow
Over the depths of my sorrow,
Darkness fills the emptiness
devouring pride and sadness.

My heart is growing bitter and cold,
With each passing hour apathy unfolds.
Building unsurmounted hatred,
Leading to a path, i will alone tread.

A soul bound in darkness,
Devoid of light but not faithless.
Seeking absolute redemption,
An escape from human infraction.

When the weight of the world subsides,
The lies will cease to reside.
Every soul will be free
From the chains of their vanity.

The unfolding darkness looms,
Making the path for chaos to bloom.
Drowning the world in gloom,
In preparation for the impending doom.

Under the shadow of fate,
We stood in front of heaven’s gate.
Hoping and waiting for it to open,
To be saved and be taken.

(Based from the anime/novel/manga Ef - Tales of Memories, this is Chihiro.)
I fell in love with the story, it made me drunk with feelings and thoughts of somewhat mixed anxiety and happiness.

Repeating empty days passed me by,
Since four years when my time stopped.
Always staring at a hazy distant sky,
Moments remembered that are not enough.

Chains of 12 years constantly binds me
To who i was and to my fixed past
I can only grasp 13 hours of memory
As they fade and never will last.

Memories i don’t want to forget,
Written in words for me to recollect.
This is as best as it can get,
An existence that i long to reject.

Someone who didn’t knew loneliness,
Should never connect with anyone.
The pain of being alone is boundless,
Not knowing anyone is better than

losing someone.

Like a castle of sand built on a

morning,
Looking perfect and beautiful.
Blown away by the wind in the evening,
Knowing that is absolutely painful.

I don’t want to be erased from anyone’s

heart,
The fear of being forgotten grips me.
Thoughts in paper, torn apart.
All memories of happiness will soon

leave me.

A sad existence to realize,
A life that i won’t remember.
Stucked in my own time as everyone

else’s flies,
I only hope my true wish never waver.

Fading memories erased from my mind,
But my heart remember the feelings.
Not any trace of the moment to find,
All that i can do is to keep believing.

Don’t say goodbye,
Even before we meet.
It’s ok to wait and try,
If our fate allows it.

Pretend that we know each other,
Save a space for me in your life.
It’s not really much of a bother,
There is no pressure or hype.

Act like you understand me,
I promise that I’ll do the same.
Assume that we are meant to be,
Let’s play this overrated game.

Talk to me in your dreams,
Imagine that I’m beside you.
Though awkward it would seem,
Open your heart and be true.

Whomever you maybe,
You’ll always have my heart.
I’ll be there to help you see,
What love needs to impart.

Pretend that i love you,
Pretend that you love me.
The feelings that we accrue,
Will waver what we need to be.

Let’s wait for our future,
Endless days of happiness.
We only have a today to endure,
Few more moments of numbness.

You shall never disappear,
From my mind and from my heart.
You shall forever be here,
We will never again part.

Always be by my side,
Forever until end of time.
Eternity wouldn’t mind,
That you become mine.

You’ll never again stand alone,
Let me hold your hand tightly
And I’ll take you home.
Live this life as you want it to be.

I want you to believe in me.
I need you to trust me.
The truth is here for you to see,
You have the right to be free.

Say goodbye to your tears,
You won’t need them anymore.
Let go of all your fears,
Discard the sadness that you wore.

Grasp tomorrow,
Let go of yesterday.
Leave your sorrow,
Let us face a new day.

So never disappear,
I need you to be here.
Please always be near,
My love so dear.